I thought everything will be different when I started my 23, even being mature is still hard. Probably because a nature of woman who put feeling at first place. Or it's just me who do not try my best yet. I miss the moment when I got the power to do everything just for Allaah. I used to hide and wore mask, but being honest is actually relieving. That's the reason I'm writing this post. To train my self to be honest about what I'm really thinking. Sometimes I just looked at publics vibe and peoples trending opinion. You know, trying so bad to looked good and cool (haha). Tiring of course. At the moment like that, Allah is the only way. Shortly speaking, event hough I knew the theory well, the real application is quite challenging. I have to fight against my self, and it is absolutely very termendous. I knew the quotes saying that without His help you will never able to fight against yourself. Hasbunallaah wa ni'mal wakil. Ni'mal maula wa ni'mannashir. Laa haula wa la quwwata illa billah.
